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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784643">i see you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/homodotus/pseuds/homodotus'>homodotus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>a study of love [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Power Rangers (2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, F/F, Mentions of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, implied rape, trigger warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:34:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,798</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784643</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/homodotus/pseuds/homodotus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>angel arove is saved, and the world knows their name - but they're still kids; their wounds are still healing, their bond is as strong as ever.</p><p>so then why does trini feel so empty?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kimberly Hart/Trini</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>a study of love [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. whiskey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiCaptain/gifts">iiCaptain</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey lads, hope quarantine is treating you well.<br/>personally it's allowed me to give my old hobbies a go so i'm here with a fic for y'all; hopefully it helps pass the time. this is quite a dark fic so i hope y'all are ok with it. i think i've done ok given my writing style has changed and i haven't written for years. </p><p>all kinds of feeback is welcome and comments really help motivate me. i haven't finished it but i figured it'd help to get it out there, see if you like it. depending on how this lands i might keep going with it. thanks for giving me your time</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The <span>fire blazes in the night, spitting sparks that Trini tries to tell apart from the stars. Its flames dance and she can feel the heat kiss her face, rocking forward on her stool to meet it. Trini holds the bottle of whiskey close to her chest, hugs it tightly as the wind rattles through the forest and tickles her nose. The trees sway sluggishly across the mountain till they disappear into the darkness, and Trini wants to run and see what lies beyond it all - wants to feel </span><em><span>free</span></em><span>, wants her legs to carry her fast till she stumbles and falls to her chest. The others are laughing, chatting - acting like they didn't just save the world, acting like their bones and bruises aren't still healing beneath their soot-covered clothes, acting like everything doesn't hurt. Trini throws the whiskey to the back of her throat, washes out the taste of blood and death with the pungent alcohol. It makes her skin itch and there’s a buzzing in her gut as it burns its way through her body. Her face twists into an unmistakable expression of disgust and she grits her teeth, but the whiskey makes her feel like she's floating.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>"Willing to share?" Zack had stopped snickering to ask, kicking a rock from one foot to another. Trini laughs, then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Get your own alcohol, loser." She makes sure to take a bigger gulp this time, as she brings the bottle to her lips. Trini misses the way his eyes land on Kim, how his face matches the same glint of worry as is on hers. The girl melts into her seat, waits for the laughter to fill up the air again with closed eyes; there's a drop of whiskey that dances on her lip, burning a cut and pulling her consciousness away from the campfire. She tries to ignore how she can tell Billy is smiling by the sound of his voice, tries to ignore the deep guffaw of Jason as he wrestles with Zack, tries to ignore Kim's gentle laughter. Trini just wants to lose herself in the rustling of the leaves, in the distant cries of the coyotes - crumble away into the background. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There are so many others whose lives aren't as lost as mine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thinks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don't understand why the coin chose me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The words are on her tongue, they're waiting to be screamed - but Trini can never muster the strength to say them. No, instead she gags on more whiskey, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt. It tastes of ash and sweat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trini doesn't realise there's a tremble in her hand till the bottle rattles gently against her tooth as she tips it back again. But then she accidentally catches the piercing eyes of Kim, and Trini feels as though she's been pinned down; she's holding her head high, jaw clenched, and her gaze follows Trini every time she tries to break away. There's a question on Kim's face that Trini tells herself she's too drunk to read. Practically a comic book superhero, and of all the secret weaknesses in the world Trini’s just had to be Kimberly. But Trini is just too goddamn stubborn, and chokes down the sudden macabre laughter that escapes her lips with whiskey as her eyes burn with unshed tears; it's met with bile as it burns down her throat. She's too much of a coward to look at Kim again. Trini glares deep into the fire till it dims and its burning embers are extinguished by the boys' unfinished beer. When she stands, her knees click and a shiver runs up her legs, and the cold makes her toes ache.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And suddenly Kim is by her side, slipping her hand into Trini's own trembling one and the softness of it makes her dizzy. That question is tugging at Kim's lips again, and her grip tightens as Trini tries to pull away. "I see you," She simply whispers, and the words pull the air from Trini's lungs. "You didn't think I would notice?" Kimberly's palm is warm from the fire, and Trini mindlessly follows the goosebumps at her wrist with her finger; she's trying hard to ignore how Kim's breath tickles her nose, and she smells like berries and mint. She slurs out something that was meant to be reassuring, but the worry in Kim's eyes never leaves and it's making Trini feel sick.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Don't look at me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Kimberly nods solemnly once, tucks a strand of hair behind Trini's ear and tries to ignore how she flinches away. There are birds singing in the distance now, and Trini wonders how long it'll be before the sun rises in the horizon. She decides that she's going to stay and watch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm gonna go home, I'm gettin' sleepy. Goodnight, Kim." Trini lies, her words sounding just as empty as she feels - but she walks away before Kim can say anything else; something in her rucksack clinks as she tugs her hand away, and Kim looks at her suspiciously. Trini's legs take her deep into the forest, deep till her shadow's melted into the darkness and she can't hear the others call her name anymore. The canopy of trees shroud her and twigs splinter beneath her boots as Trini pulls off her rucksack to unscrew another bottle of whiskey she'd stolen from her father's stash. She laughs dryly at the thought of being found in a puddle of her own vomit, body curled up somewhere cold and dark in the middle of the forest. Trini drinks - drinks till she's completely numb, drinks till the forest is moving in a drunken haze, drinks till she forgets Kim's whispered words: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I see you. You didn't think I would notice?</span>
  </em>
  <span> And before Trini can comprehend the fact that Kim can read her so easily, that she's no longer a ghost, she steps out of the forest and reaches a divide in the cliff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her boots scuff at its edge and her head swirls as she leans over to watch the rocks fall. Trini wonders if she'd survive the fall, imagines her legs caving in beneath her, how her bones would break, how her skull would split. Deep in thought and eager to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Trini holds the bottle over the ravine and watches intently as it shatters in her hand; it breaks with a satisfying sound, and she can hear the glass cut through the air as it falls into the darkness. She's fixated with the way the blood drools down her fingers and warms her hand, and Trini wonders if Rita felt this way when her own hand was around her throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aside from Trini's jagged breaths, there is silence, and she can't stop herself thinking about the others; Zack with his shit eating grin, Jason with his overbearing hugs, Billy with his little touches, Kim with her worried eyes - and Trini barely has enough time to stumble backwards so she doesn't lurch over as she vomits and throws herself off the cliff. She lands hard on her back, and it hurts so much that she screws her eyes shut; Trini curls in on herself, vomit spilling from her lips and bile burning her throat. She can taste the whiskey again, and it makes her retch harder and kick her legs out violently. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I see you. You didn't think I would notice? </span>
  </em>
  <span>The phantom touch of Kim's soft hand tickles in her closed fist, and she desperately stretches out her sticky fingers for more. But she's only met with sharp gravel and dirt that sticks to the deep gash in her hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cold wind batters Trini's body as she pulls her face up from the ground and lifts herself onto her knees. She's barely conscious enough to feel the buzzing of the phone in her pocket, and she can still read Kim's caller ID beneath the bloody fingerprints on the screen - but the phone is heavy in her hand, and her eyelids start to fall as exhaustion sweeps over her. A defeated scream erupts from her throat - it's hoarse yet full of seething rage and self-hatred, one last act of anger and defiance - as she throws the phone into the trees with what little strength she has left. Trini's breathing is weak, she can't see her breath in the cold air anymore. Her body hits the ground, hard - the rocks splitting the side of her temple open and she breathes in the dirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From beyond the cliff, the sun breaks from the horizon and colour starts to spill into the sky. Trini's eyes slowly flutter shut, tears drooling down her cheek and suddenly she's still. There's nothing but darkness now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I see you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. dead threats</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Trigger Warning: Implied Rape &amp; Blood and Injury</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trini<span> wakes to the smell of decay. Decay smells of rotten fish and seawater. It burns her nostrils and she gags as it hits the back of her throat. She can taste it. Rita smells of decay. Her golden claws reach out from the darkness before Trini can even blink away the salty water that's dripping from the ceiling. There's something sharp around her throat, drawing blood, and Rita pushes her weight onto Trini's oesophagus. She can't breathe, her heart is hard and fast - and suddenly Trini is being thrown into the wall, feeling the plaster stick to her sweaty skin and the bricks grate against her back. Rita even gives the girl a taste of dwindling satisfaction, of fleeting hope, as she lets herself be thrown across the room; she almost found it cute, the way Trini bared her teeth and knitted her eyebrows together as she growled. This kind of spunk would make it exciting. </span></p><p>
  <span>Rita sighs as the burning sensation of her armour bursts through her skin - a feeling lost to the countless years spent at the ocean bed. It looked painful, but Rita's splitting smile tells Trini that she enjoys it. She's insane, and the girl stumbles back as she watches, wide eyed, lip trembling. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I'll show you mine if you show me yours?</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Trini swears there's a buzzing beneath her own skin, a blossoming heat in her chest; it makes her fingers tingle and her muscles flex, her blood feels as though it's pulsing - but it flickers away as she tries to force it to the surface. Rita laughs at her then, and it makes Trini flinch. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She's too weak.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She can't stop the frightened yelp that escapes her throat as Rita crushes her head against the wall, and before she has time to collect herself, Rita's burying her nail into Trini's throat. The alien watches in fervour as the blood spills onto her fingers, and smiles when Trini's chokes on a gasp. Whatever Rita is saying is drowned out by the ringing in her ears. Something cold is pressed up against her neck suddenly and it makes Trini's veins burn, makes her head thud unpleasantly, makes it impossible to breathe. Holding back her screams makes Trini dizzy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>If you won't take me to your Rangers, then I'll make them come to me. I'll leave them a nice, bloody mess to find</span>
  </em>
  <span>." Rita slams her fist into Trini's stomach, eyes fluttering closed to the sound of Trini's breathless cry. She strikes her gut again, and there's an audible </span>
  <em>
    <span>crack</span>
  </em>
  <span> as Trini doubles over. Rita's hand is around her throat again, playing with the blood and pinning her to the wall. Trini can taste iron. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Isn't it sad that they'll be too late? Their dearest yellow, torn beyond recognition - her blood splattered across the walls and her head rolling across the floor.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's too much. A sob rips through Trini's hoarse throat. Rita, slowly, mechanically, brings the girl to her chest, cradles her, whispers in her ear how alike they are, how she can protect Trini from the others, how she's going to be left behind, how they won't accept her. Rita can feel her heart beat wildly in her breast. Rita's claws are tickling at her back, and Trini shakes her head as she cries into the crook of her neck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>because they wouldn't</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something sharp pierces Trini's back at her defiance and the arms around her are suddenly vice-like. It digs deeper, and deeper, till Trini can feel it itch against her bones; she thrashes violently in Rita's hold as a raw scream is torn from her throat. The other arm slithers round to Trini's waist, and something starts to rip through the flesh there too, clawing its way through her body. Blood pools at her navel, runs down her legs, and the pain makes her muscles spasm. Begging only makes Rita curl her fingers inside of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trini prays for mercy, for death - her messy, hoarse mutterings swinging back and forth from English to Spanish as Rita presses herself against her boxers, as Rita licks her way down her stomach and blood gathers on her lips as she curls her tongue into Trini's wounds, as Rita rests her nose against the space between her legs and smells her, as Rita pries open her thighs with her claws and hums with delight, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I know what you want. You know you want this</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trini splits her lip between her teeth as she breathes harshly through her nose, scrubbing her body raw in the shower when Rita crawls her way out of the window like an insect. Her eyes are empty. She trembles from head to toe. And she disappears into the night to find the others, her yellow jacket zipped up to her throat. But Trini told them only that Rita was insane, that she's waiting at the docks for them, as she tried to ignore the way her shirt stuck to her bloody skin.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i understand that times rn are real tough so i wanna offer as much help as i can: my discord is homodotus#7659 and my tumblr is homodotus. if you need anyone to talk to about anything or you're doing online classes and need some help (i'm a classic civ., english, dramatic theatre and art student) you can hmu.</p><p>like i said, comments really help motivate me and feedback really helps. i'm a mad perfectionist so don't be alarmed if i do a little bit of editing; i may have been working over chapters for a while but the mind is the most critical.</p><p>keep safe guys, these are crazy times<br/>- dotus</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. sunlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The<span> early morning light is blinding as it shines through the window, warming the dashboard. The sun sits comfortably above the trees and breathes through the clouds, and a gentle mist washes through the canyons. The wind dances by, kissing her cheeks as she watches the trees sway in rhythm. There's a faint smell of gas in the air as she pockets her keys, looking back at the tire tracks in the sand. It's beautiful, she thinks; she knows every inch of Angel Grove, yet this spot must've escaped her. It's high, desolate, sitting by the edge of the forest. The drive up here had made her toes curl.</span></p><p>
  <span>There's a fear in her blood, a panic in her heart, as she steps into the forest. There's an instant chill - the shadows are cool and the soil is wet. Her phone vibrates in her jacket, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Have you found T. yet?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kim's lips are dry, and she replies to Jason with shaky fingers: she hasn't found her, not yet - but there's something pulling her to the ravine, something that feels like Trini. It's unmoving, faint, and Kim thinks she must've stopped running. Of all the things she could possibly lose, it couldn't ever be Trini. Never. Kimberly wouldn't allow it, lest she die with her. It's a heart retching thought that she has to swallow down, push to the back of her head. She was going to find Trini, and she was going to be okay. They're all going to be okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kim closes her eyes, let's the distant humming of Trini's energy lead her through the forest; she wants to believe that their coins are connected - it would explain how Kim made it through the forest without falling, without walking into any trees. Trini's coin wants to be found, even if Trini didn't want to be. For that much at least, Kim is relieved. The birds sing for her as she walks, and Kim lets herself smile briefly. She's always felt at home in the forest. She can feel the sun against her eyelids, and the leaves brush gently against her outstretched hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There's a crunch beneath her shoe, something that sounded like glass. Kim lets her eyes open slowly, takes a step back, realises it's a phone - realises it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>Trini's</span>
  </em>
  <span> phone. And as Kim picks it up, her fingers become sticky, and the smell of iron becomes pungent in the sunlight. There's something on her fingers, and Kim wipes her antsy hands against her jacket roughly. She's dipped in icy anxiousness, and the more she denies that it's Trini's blood on her fingers, the tighter her throat feels, the harder her heart beats. The forest becomes suffocating, though vacant and lonely; all Kim can feel now is the cold. "Trini!" She screams, running a trembling hand through her hair. A bead of sweat runs down from her temple. She tries again - with each call the more broken her voice becomes, with each call the more tears well up in her scared eyes. Kim doesn't have to run far till she breaks away from the trees, till she reaches the end of the cliff. Her lips are swollen, her nose red, her chin dripping tears. She calls for Trini over the divide, doubles over and throws her arms to the side as the name is ripped from her throat. The echoes are eaten up by the ravine. There's nothing but the harsh sounds of the wind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sudden burst of energy makes Kim's right hand twitch, makes a tendon in the side of her neck spasm. It's strong, but it disappears almost instantly. There's a body in the distance, covered in muck; the wind is picking up its hair, inflating its shirt. Its unmistakable, yellow chequered shirt. The rocks Trini's laid atop are sharp, and they bury themselves into Kim's knees and rip her jeans as she throws herself to the ground, bringing Trini into her arms. She's a small, lifeless bundle, and there's such a strong smell of whiskey and blood that it makes Kim's mouth water and she gags. Her hand cups Trini's pale face desperately, and she's whimpering her name over and over as fallen tears patter against the girl's head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kim's fingers find her pulse, graze past tender, thick scars on her throat and something explodes within her. All the anger, all the frustration, all the fear and anxiety poured out of her as a long, painful cry racked her body. She pulls Trini closer to her, tucks her head beneath her chin and presses her lips to it hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time the sun has passed over them and the town below begins to bustle, Kim's composed enough to finally pull away from Trini, to finally reach for her phone with a trembling hand and call Jason. "Jace, I found her - I found her Jace." Her voice is strained and worn, but she hears Jason's sigh of relief. There's scuttering beside Jason and hurried questions; Billy must be worried. Jason promises that they'll be there soon, that they're already in the van. He reminds Kim to breathe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the call ends, Kim lets the phone fall from her hand and places it gently back against Trini's face; she runs a delicate thumb across the cut on her cheek, and shakily releases the breath that she'd been holding. There's a twitch in Trini's nose, movement behind her eyelids - Kim's breath must've tickled her face; it smelt of mint and honeyed coffee. Kim whispers her name so gently, and to her hope, Trini opens her eyes, slowly, flinching at the sunlight. The girl's hand finds her shirt and bundles it, gripping it till her knuckles are white. Trini's eyes are red, and yet still beautifully brown. Kimberly's smile is small and sweet, and in that moment relief felt almost unfamiliar to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There must be a distant stream running through the ravine; Kim can hear the delicate flow of rushing water. The wind's breeze is gentle now, and it plays with Trini's hair as they wait, silently, for Jason. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i understand that times rn are real tough so i wanna offer as much help as i can: my discord is homodotus#7659 and my tumblr is homodotus. if you need anyone to talk to about anything or you're doing online classes and need some help (i'm a classic civ., english, dramatic theatre and art student) you can hmu.</p><p>like i said, comments really help motivate me and feedback really helps. i'm a mad perfectionist so don't be alarmed if i do a little bit of editing; i may have been working over chapters for a while but the mind is the most critical.</p><p>keep safe guys, these are crazy times<br/>- dotus</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. blossom trees</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A chill ran deep in her bones, and she tried to focus on the cherry-blossom petals as vomit surges up her throat. Trini lurches over with a painful retch, and Kim's tentative fingers rest on the back of her neck - a gentle reminder that Kim was there, a gentle reminder that Trini was okay. It's something that she hadn't realised she needed so bad. The taste of bile and whiskey makes Trini's knees buckle; something wraps around her waist and brings her close, lifting her up into the air and keeping her warm. Instinctively, the girl curls into it, grasps at it, as a wave of nausea and pain washes over her again. Trini whines as she tucks her head into the crook of Kim's neck, and as Jason shuts the door to his truck she flinches. Kim can feel the girl's sweat drool onto her own skin. She has to remember to clean up the vomit on the front lawn before her parents have a chance to see it.</p><p>“Here,” Jason mutters, guiding Kim to the front door and opening it. He disappears into the kitchen as Kim settles Trini down onto the sofa, returning with a bucket and glass of water. “I’m gonna take Billy back home before his mom wakes up. Will you be okay?” Jason’s eyes are gentle, but he worries his lip between his teeth; his hand finds Kim’s, and he leans forward to plant a small kiss on her head. There’s a strange feeling in Kim’s gut, it makes her anxious enough to bite at her nail. She nods carefully, looking back to watch Trini nuzzle her head into the pillow. There’s a warm fondness in Kimberly’s eyes, Jason notices; it always had been reserved for the smaller girl. So he runs a tender thumb over Kim’s knuckles, and takes back his hand, swallowing hard. “I’ll see you soon Kim.”</p><p>At the gentle click of the front door, there is silence, and Kimberly runs a shaky hand through her hair; it felt a little easier to breathe now.</p><hr/><p>Trini wakes to the smell of something freshly baked, and there's a warm weight sitting on her gut. She blinks away the blurriness, wipes her eyes, waits for the dancing colours and patterns to pass. The cat on her lap is large, fluffy - its fur tickles at where her shirt has ridden up; it's in a comfortable sleep, and Trini almost feels guilty for sitting up. There's a sudden, ugly thudding at her temples, and she brings a shaky hand up to her head; it's bandaged, speckled red. It makes her groan, and it's loud enough to draw Kimberly's attention away from her baking. She's by her side before Trini even realises, a hand resting against her cheek, thumb stretching to caress the band aid by Trini's hair.</p><p>"Sorry, I bake when I'm stressed. Figured you could do with something light to eat." Kim's smile was sweet, though her eyes were sad; it made Trini's chest ache. Kimberly notices the disgruntled cat stretching by her legs and says, "that's Charlie. He must like you, he doesn't cuddle up to just anybody, you know." It's playful, and a small giggle escapes Trini's lips; Kim laughs too, with a breath of relief. There's a twinkle in her eyes, now. "C'mon, you must be hungry." And Trini is, and her throat is dry - though the thought of food makes her tongue water.</p><p>Kimberly is sitting her down at the bar and passing her a cup of iced water, ushering her to drink. The buns she's baked are still warm, and Trini picks at them, hugging her bandaged hand to her chest, till her stomach is full. "Tasted good chef," She says, pushing away her plate and giving the girl from behind the counter a toothy smile; it was genuine,  dorky, soft - perfectly Trini, Kim thinks. Nothing like her drunken brooding self.</p><p>"You must be feeling disgusting," Kim sighs, pushing away from the counter. She gathers the plates, runs the tap, turns around to glance at Trini. "The bathroom is at the end of the hallway upstairs. You're more than welcome to run yourself a bath." It's then that Trini remembers to check the pendulum clock standing by the archway; it's 9:43pm. Her blood runs cold when her mother's voice echoes in her mind, berating her, spitting at her. The stool rattles against the cold stone tiles as she stands abruptly, anxiously - but before the panic can completely envelope her, Kim stops the tap. "Hey, don't worry about your family. I got my mom to call, to say that you're spending the weekend at mine. She's pretty thrilled that you're out with friends." Her voice is gentle, her smile is small, reassuring - she understands; it takes Trini a minute, but she lets herself relax once again.</p><p>"Thanks, Kim...for everything." It's quiet, barely loud enough for Kimberly to hear. But she does, and her eyes brighten. Trini smiles at her so softly, and it felt like something she hadn't done in years: to genuinely smile; to be real, and to feel; to love. Maybe she wasn't allowing herself to have such privileges, such happiness and pleasures, or maybe the world just wasn't good to her - but this moment, with Kim, could make her forget about all the hurt for the meantime, and for that she was thankful.</p><p>The Hart house was startlingly huge; it was daunting, having lived in a smaller house herself, and then waking up in a mansion. She can imagine Kim being modest about it. The tub itself is wide, deep; it takes a while to fill up, but Trini is relieved when she lowers herself into the hot water, the steam making her forehead sweat and the bubbles tickling at her skin. She tries to ignore the way it burns at her wounds. Trini grabs at the bottles, hisses when she forgets about the gash in her hand; she washes, watching a little into intently as the water gets dark with dirt and dried blood.</p><p>Trini stands finally, ringing the water from her hair and stepping onto the bathmat. Though she feels fresh, clean, she catches the sight of herself in the full-length mirror standing opposite her: she's surprisingly pale, littered with cuts, bruises, ugly deep lacerations. She looked like the carved up piece of meat of an animal, as though she had been hunted, as though she was defenceless prey. A heat blossomed at her spine, at her waist, and her legs felt unsteady. Trini swore she heard the maniacal laughter, then. There's a crash as the mirror shatters around her fist; it was sudden, pure instinct, pure fear. She hadn't meant to break it, but what it had showed her - what it had made her remember - brought back all the pain. Trini collapses to the floor, scrambles away from the shards of glass till her back hits the edge of the bathtub. Bloody handprints are painted onto the white tiles, and that ghostly laughter becomes unbearable; she holds her knees to her chest, crawls into the littlest ball, pulls at her hair as she cries.</p><p>The bathroom door is pushed open - it slams into the wall with a loud thud, but Trini hadn't even noticed. There's anxious hands all over her, and she's tucked beneath a head and embraced as shaky whispers chant reassurances. Trini closes her eyes tight, stops tugging at her hair only to grasp at the body around her; there's gentle hushing - something to focus on, to anchor her. She chokes on her sobs till her grip on Kim's shirt loosens, and she finally melts into her, crying softly now. Trini's nakedness is pushed to the back of her mind as she breathes in Kim, pulls her close, settles down into a delicate shivering in her arms. "I've got you," She can hear Kim whisper into her wet hair, "I've got you baby."</p><p>Trini lets Kimberly pull her to her feet, but she tries to stutter an apology, points to the mirror and her lip trembles again. "I didn't mean - I'm sorry I- I didn't mean -" But Kim simply hushes her, takes her gently by the hand and leads her to her room. She turns on her lamp with a gentle click, and it's a light that's easy on Trini's sore eyes. Kimberly is looking at her, from head to toe, soaking up Trini's scars; she swallows hard, blinks away the tears. She nods to herself silently, picking at her fingers. And before Trini tries to apologise for her scars, for the damage, <em> for being seen </em>, Kim pulls her into a desperate embrace, and she can feel the taller girl's tears gathering on her naked shoulder. Her fingers ghost the scar that stretches up her spine, and it makes her tremble. Trini holds her just as tight, just as close. And she whispers into her ear a lie that feels as though a knife is plunged and twisted in her gut, "I'm okay."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i understand that times rn are real tough so i wanna offer as much help as i can: my discord is homodotus#7659 and my tumblr is homodotus. if you need anyone to talk to about anything or you're doing online classes and need some help (i'm a classic civ., english, dramatic theatre and art student) you can hmu.</p><p>like i said, comments really help motivate me and feedback really helps. i'm a mad perfectionist so don't be alarmed if i do a little bit of editing; i may have been working over chapters for a while but the mind is the most critical.</p><p>keep safe guys, these are crazy times<br/>- dotus</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i understand that times rn are real tough so i wanna offer as much help as i can: my discord is homodotus#7659 and my tumblr is homodotus. if you need anyone to talk to about anything or you're doing online classes and need some help (i'm a classic civ., english, dramatic theatre and art student) you can hmu. </p><p>like i said, comments really help motivate me and feedback really helps. i'm a mad perfectionist so don't be alarmed if i do a little bit of editing; i may have been working over chapters for a while but the mind is the most critical.</p><p>keep safe guys, these are crazy times<br/>- dotus</p></blockquote></div></div>
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